I am blind

"And I will lead the blind
   in a way that they do not know,
in paths that they have not known
   I will guide them.
I will turn the darkness before them into light,
   the rough places into level ground.
These are the things I do,
   and I do not forsake them."

That is from Isiah 42, which I "happened" to read this morning. That is me, the blind. These last three weeks, God has been leading me in paths I have not known.

I try to understand, but I cannot see beyond the darkness. I cannot understand. So all I ask is to somehow see through God's eyes. I want to see everything He is, till all that's left is not myself.

There is a song that suddenly means so much to me. "Under My Skin". I haven't understood it very well before, but now it is my one prayer. Lord, take away all of me. Change me. Let me see You.

"Shadow days come to haunt me here
To wrap around me
Dark and cold

To hide the sunlight from my eyes

I can not see beyond these clouds surrounding
I will not forget that this is not the end

Under my skin
Under these scars
Take me again
Tear me apart
Cause I wanna see
Everything You are
Til all that's left
Is not myself

This is life every second here
Gripping tighter
Empty praise 

To all the things I fear inside

But I know that you will rise up from these ashes
Tomorrow will be the light that guides me

Take away everything
Burn away all of me
As I break

I believe
You will come to rescue..."

However long this pain lasts, I will not forget that this is not the end. I have broken. And God has come to rescue.