Flying in the Wind
At the top of the cliff I was given a mission: Get to the bottom.
So here I am, very carefully climbing down on a nice safe rope, when God said something to me.
"Hey, Ariel. If you let go of that rope, you're going to get to the bottom a lot faster."
I pause. I blink. "Uhh ... that sounds kinda dangerous."
"Only if you were by yourself. You're not."
I feel my hand tightening around my rope. "But, God, that would mean I would be falling. Like, free falling. With no rope. That's scary."
"Um, I don't know what's at the bottom."
Well, yeah. But that doesn't mean I'm going to like what it is.
God's voice again. "Can you trust me?"
Suddenly the rope is pulled away. I start falling, terrified. I reach out toward the rope, clutching desperately.
"Lord! My rope! Don't you know I need that?" I've never lived without my rope. He can't take it away now! I'm falling! Where is God?
...Oh. He's the one who took the rope away. Helplessness overwhelms me. I begin to get mad. How could He do this without telling me? I don't know how to live without it - I'm completely ... completely...
OUT OF CONTROL.
I cry and scream, bouncing between fear and anger. Soon I am completely exhausted. The rope is always too far away, no matter how I reach for it. I'm still falling, falling, falling. For a moment I turn silent, panting, staring at the rope hopelessly.
I hear something. What is that...? I realize it is a voice. A still, small Voice. He was there the whole time, wasn't he? I just couldn't hear Him over my own panicked cries.
And so I listen. God speaks to me, encourages me, tells me He loves me, tells me this is His plan. Every once in a while fear rises in my chest and I once again clutch at the rope. But it's so far away now it's pointless. An idea begins to form in my mind. (At least it seemed that I formed it; most likely it was planted here...)
Slowly, hesitantly, I look up. The sight takes my breath away. Clouds shift and smear across the sky in beautiful patterns, trying to hide a stunning blue. The sun shines bright - suddenly I can feel it on my skin. Warm, beautiful.
Something inside me seems to come alive. I close my eyes and for the first time, I smile. Wow. This is amazing. I can feel the air rushing around me, cold and magnificent. The rush of wind in my ears. Suddenly I feel reckless, daring. I'm falling. I'm actually free falling! What an exhilarating feeling this is!
I hear a soft laugh; it's my God. "You're enjoying it, aren't you?"
My heart is beating fast and energetically. "Yes," I say, in awe. "I am. I can't believe I am."
The rope doesn't matter. I don't even look for it. I simply enjoy the wild feeling of falling - but no. It's not falling. It's flying.
Flying in the wind!