Ohhh I have such a love/hate relationship with expectations

I don't have any kind of solution in this post, just so you know. It's just be venting and frustrated. Haha. Seriously though. If you can help me, please do.

I know I shouldn't have expectations. But for the life of me I cannot figure out how NOT to. We plan a date night. Stephen gets called in to work that evening. Expectation = dashed. But it wasn't wrong of me to expect and look forward to the date was it?

This happens all the time. At least with books and movies I've learned to expect nothing from them, but in real life.... that's just different. I'm not sure how. I wish I knew! But every time something doesn't go according to plan, I have a hard time with it. I try to be flexible but I can't help looking forward to things.

Granted, I'm always OK later, but the initial onset of emotions when I find out is unsettling. I suppose by now I should be used to my emotions, but they make me feel at their mercy and I know that's not true. Gosh that is a whole post by itself.

Anyhow. Then there's the party expectation. I expect to go to this event and have a good time. Or, I expect to have coffee with my friend and it's going to be edifying. When those are disappointed it's the same thing. I kick myself for creating these expectations. But I didn't even mean to create them!

My husband has a special power. He can not create expectations. I'm not sure how he does it. Maybe it's part of being even keel and carefree. Hmmmmm....

So yeah. That's it. Just a rant, like I said. Anyone else have issues with this or is it just me?


The Leaky Pot Syndrome

Bear with me on this one. I know the title is weird.

2 Corinthians 4:7 says, "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." Okay, let's look at the context. The treasure referenced here is the "light of the knowledge of the glory of God" (v6) The knowledge. I find that fascinating.

I can just see the clay pot, light spilling out of its many cracks. It's fantastic imagery. One day I was sitting thinking about this and I realized that light and knowledge and joy doesn't just shine through those cracks - it spills out of them and pretty soon it needs to be refilled.

We are leaky. 

Think of how true this is. We hear a sermon; it fills us up with knowledge. The next week, it's all but forgotten. We experience the Lord's intervening firsthand. We are filled with amazement. The next week, it's spilled out the cracks and no longer a reality to us. We are at a Bible Study and the text fills us with the joy of the Lord. But it doesn't stay - it can't. We are leaky.

Our cracks will not be sealed until the next life. While we are still in these shadow lands, we must be continually refilled with the light of the knowledge of God's Glory. Over and over again. This is why weekly Bible studies are so important. Daily reading and praying. Regular fellowship with the body. We must immerse ourselves in the Truth.

We've all come to those places where we are absolutely empty. There's nothing left, there's no motivation, no joy. Fill up with Him. Sometimes we can't do it ourselves. Sometime God will fill us with the words of friend or stranger.

So don't be discouraged when you realize you've been leaking out the glory. It's inevitable. It's what keeps us coming back to our knees.


Thoughts on Vlogging

I realize not very many people read this blog, but if you do please take a moment and give me your input. For some reason I have really felt like I should start a vlog. I know there are pros and cons to the video world vs. the written blog world, but I feel like it would be a good fit for me, and I've never done it, so why not?

Leave a quick comment and tell me if you watch any vlogs and why. I'd love to hear! :D

(Whoah. Shortest post in a long time, folks...)